Presence without Reversal
"Time does not exist. There is only a small and infinite present, and it is only in the present that our life occurs." ~Leo Tolstoy, A Calendar of Wisdom Dec. 31.
With the dawning of a new year, we often reflect on what we haven't accomplished, our unfulfilled dreams or unintended consequences from our decisions. January 1 becomes a benchmark, not a starting line.
A benchmark because we arrive at this day with all our baggage, all of our troubles, all of our insecurities and doubts. We arrive at this post of our journey from our own circuitous path. By all rights, an imperious day on the calendar, based on man's imperfect calculations. Today hardly reflects celestial significance or religious connotation. But nonetheless, a new day, a new year and a fork in our road. A globally accepted reset.
A chance for a right or a wrong beginning.
The prefix re- is used to indicate again, and again, and again.
“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” ~Albert Einstein
Another intention of the prefix re- is back, as in: to reflect. However, on this arbitrary day of new beginnings, today is the day
not re-birth but birth a new idea,
not re-new but to be new,
not re-commit but to commit wholly from your heart,
not the day to set a re-solution but to become your solution.
We shall not re-present our past, we shall be present henceforth.
Resolutions, the act of re-setting an idealization of you, could be construed as an act of violence towards oneself. An effort, an expectation, a self-flagellation. A walking through a field of cactus without any shoes, resetting is a battle of willpower. This mindset is self-defeating because it does not require you to look at the source of your mental misfortune.
As a practice after your meditation, you can list your optimum goals, but then evaluate from the heart what is the source of this need or desire for change. Ask yourself why, like a child exploring life. Why? Why? Why? Until a distillation of your truth prevails.
As this path is better understood, so will a clearer, deeper, more universal intention reveal itself from your past. From this intention one can become intentional. The power to direct awareness towards your true self will be revealed from the archives of your past. From this presence, all that you seek will become an intended sequence of intentional living, benchmarks will give way to an open meadow of contentment.
Meditation:
Arrive at your space. (Add a candle or a scent or whatever feels like meditation to you.) Note your breath, your shoulders, your body position. No need to change it, just observe it. Understand that this is your space and all that is in this space presents who you are at this moment. Even if this is a new space filled with unaccustomed pieces, it is your path that has brought you here.
Come to your comfortable seat.
Notice 5 things that you can see with your eyes. For example: a candle, the light, the movement of the flicker, the bubble of wax, the trail of melt. Take in the sense of what you see.
Now close your eyes and breath (for several moments).
Notice 4 things that you can feel. For example: The pull of gravity, the right sitting bone seated deeper than the left, the downward pressure on the vertebrae, the state of your lumbar on your sacrum. Take in the sense of all that touches you.
Breath and notice the feel of the breath as it enters and exits the body.
Notice 3 things you can hear. For example: the sound of your breath, the hum-sa rhythm, the moment it changes from inhale to exhale. Take in the sense of what surrounds you.
Take time to hear different things in their layers.
Notice 2 things you can smell. For example: the smell of the air, the curl of the smoking incense, the layers of spices. Inhale your current state of body, disseminate your chosen fragrance, your lotions, soaps or oils. Take in the different trace essences.
Take time to receive the olfactory sensations.
Notice the taste within your mouth. Can you extract more than one flavor? A more minute essence? Absorb the sapor upon your tongue.
Sit quietly as you have become present with your senses.
From this extraction, settle heart-wise into your body. Sort through your beliefs, release pre-disposed thoughts of personal distortion. Let go your ideas about you as different, imperfect, grotesque, odd, mutated, strange, or freakish. These judgements are from a history that does not serve you. For a moment, ask yourself if this belief is true with any certainty?
Remember, you do not have to identify with your beliefs!
You can define your identity with new beliefs.
From your belief set, pluck the wilted flowers given by other's, these simply clutter your vessel. Remove them from your bouquet. Know that the flowers of your heart can only flourish from gentle cultivation.
Practice the Hum-Sa Mantra 108 times.